Sweaty palms, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, and nausea - sound familiar?
If you suffer from anxiety, you're not alone, according to a survey carried out by the Mental Health Foundation, close to 20% of individuals interviewed had shown signs of anxiety and depression. Hopefully, this blog will go some way in improving our understanding and management of anxiety so that it doesn't take a hold of your life.
So, what is anxiety?
Anxiety is an emotion, it's part of us and we all experience anxiety at some point in our lives. You can think of it as your body's internal alarm system and it's letting you know that something is worth demanding your attention, whatever it is, it's too important to ignore. It's instinctive and involuntary, we don't choose to feel anxious but anxiety is important and it plays a vital role in our lives. Without it, we wouldn't have careers or businesses because we wouldn't regard study or qualifications as something important or worth bothering about. Without anxiety, we wouldn't give importance to starting a family or maintaining relationships - the world would be a very lonely place!
Anxiety: Friend or Foe?
Tim Box delivered a Ted talk about anxiety and he described the mind as a ship. The ship has a captain, the captain is responsible for logical thought and decision making - the conscious part of the brain. The part of the ship responsible for steering the ship is the crew - our subconscious. Our subconscious is in charge of our automatic responses, among many other things, these automatic responses include our emotions and some argue that they also include our habitual thinking patterns.
He continues by explaining that your crew sails the ship by triggering the appropriate emotional responses. For example, dangerous situations will trigger fear and steer you away from it, anxiety is responsible for telling us that something is too important for us to ignore and lose focus of and this is the emotion that causes us to feel worried - this feeling usually remains until you have resolved the cause of the anxiety.
Your crew is working based on the best strategy to make you happy and safe, happiness and safety are important but as the American author John Shed once wrote – ‘a ship in the harbour is safe, but that is not what ships were built for’. If you're happy staying in the harbour then there is nothing more you need to do, however, if you want to sail out into unchartered waters then stay with me and we will face this together!
Every decision that your crew makes is based on your past experiences and what you have learned as a result. Much of these experiences are either from childhood or they are no longer relevant or they were not correct in the first place. A good example of this could be when an individual develops a phobia as a result of some childhood trauma - it could be a fear of clowns or small spaces - claustrophobia. As a result, sometimes, our emotions can make mistakes but that doesn't make them the enemy - we have to try and reprogramme our emotions so that they serve their purpose in the way that they were intended.
Change your mindset
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Tim Box outlines some steps which could help with anxiety in his TedTalk, I have summarised them below:
Step 1:
Refuse to accept that you have an illness because anxiety is not an illness. Anxiety is triggered by a situation or a thought process so try not to feel anxious about feeling anxious.
Step 2:
Listen to your crew members, by ignoring them they will have to speak louder and eventually shout – as a result, the captain can’t be heard. Listen so that the crew members don’t have to shout, as a result, the captain can be heard and logical thinking can have an input. You get to decide if the feeling is appropriate or inappropriate, is it helpful or unhelpful? You are in charge!
Step 3:
Always be kind to your crew, for too long you may have beaten yourself up and criticised yourself over the things you have done wrong or the challenges you weren’t able to overcome. By doing this, morale will be destroyed and a demoralised crew will result in low self-esteem. Low self-esteem will give rise to more anxiety and continues to fuel the vicious cycle of self-doubt and worry. Forgive yourself and actively look for positive aspects of yourself and your life.
The good news is that you can repair the damage that’s been done; you can say, from now on you will talk to your crew, yourself with kindness and positivity. If you beat yourself up you will stay beaten, if you build yourself up who knows what you could achieve!
We must allow ourselves to feel anxiety every day of our lives.
What makes you double-check that you have your keys before slamming the front door closed? Why do you re-read the important email before sending it? It's your anxiety and it's working as it should.
By being kinder to yourself and not suppressing your anxiety, the crew is still sailing the ship and trying to steer it in the correct direction while the captain maintains overall control.
If we believe that how we feel isn’t normal, anxiety will trouble us more than it should.
Once you accept that anxiety is part of the normal human experience you will treat it as a trusted friend instead of an enemy – you will be surprised how quickly the crew gets back to sailing the ship and we feel a lot less anxious about anxiety.
Top 10 long term tips to managing anxiety
I have written a separate blog '6 Top tips to manage anxiety, the blog explores this section in more detail. I have included a link for more details in the relevant sections below.
1 - Make a plan
When anxiety strikes, you may feel like you have lost control of your mind and body, and it's important to have an action plan to help you to regain control. Perhaps you have a coping mechanism or something you do to help you to calm down, write this down and ingrain it into your mind. If you don’t have a plan you can use the ‘5 Second Rule’ which is a strategy developed by the motivational speaker, Mel Robbins from the US. Mel Robbins explains how her strategy can activate the conscious part of the brain and this, in turn, can help to pull a person out of the clutches of the subconscious. Find more details here.
2 - Exercise
When we exercise the brain releases the feel-good hormones, one of which is a group of hormones called endorphins. These hormones act as natural pain killers, improves sleep - relieves stress, and also relieve tension in the body. Exercise can also boost one's self-esteem as we feel a sense of achievement after physical activity and perhaps even gives us the confidence to challenge ourselves further. Just 5 minutes of aerobic exercise is enough to start the anti-anxiety effects.
3 - Balanced Diet
A balanced diet will provide the body with the nutrients to maintain a healthy body but we also require certain micronutrients for a healthy mind. One of these micronutrients is Omega-3. The link between anxiety and Omega-3 isn’t yet known but studies have found that Omega-3 can cause a significant reduction in anxiety symptoms.
You have probably heard that our diet should consist of complex carbohydrates. Not only does will this prevent a spike in blood sugar (this can make you feel jittery), it also stimulates the brain to produce more serotonin, a hormone that helps to stabilise our mood, generally makes us feel happy, and helps with sleep. Find more details here.
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4 - Avoid caffeine and alcohol
More often than not we hear about the positive effects of caffeine, be it improved focus or to prevent tiredness. In the context of anxiety though, it has been found that consuming too much caffeine can induce anxiety-like symptoms. Caffeine raises the heart rate and increases blood sugar levels due to stimulating a release of adrenaline. As discussed earlier, elevated heart rate and a spike in blood sugar can make you feel uneasy and irritable.
In society, alcohol consumption is often associated with winding down after a long day, relaxing, and helping to take your mind off your troubles. With this said, using alcohol as a long-term solution to managing anxiety can become very problematic. You may develop a dependency on alcohol which could lead to alcoholism. Furthermore, you will eventually develop a tolerance to alcohol and thus the de-stressing effects of the alcohol will become less effective over time.
5 - Stress management - Relax - Slow down - Breath
Reducing your general stress levels is essential in managing anxiety. Anxiety is a reaction to stress and for this reason, we must find ways to let off some steam and try to relax our body and mind. There are many causes of stress, the most common causes of stress are:
Work
Children/Family commitments
Relationship problems
Debt
Starting a new job/school
Loss of a loved one
Managing a significant change in your life
We all have our way of relaxing and unwinding after a long and busy day. Whether it's meditation or a long soak in the bath, it's important to put time aside for yourself, just you, to relax and melt away the stresses. Use this time to work through and release the source of your stress. With a clearer mind, you will be able to find solutions to those worries and stresses which can't be released as easily.
Photo by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels
If you're struggling to think of ways to de-stress, you can perhaps use one of the following to help:
Excercise/Going for a walk
Reading a book
Going for a walk
Meditation
Yoga
Watching something light-hearted on TV
Practice deep and slow breathing
Listening to relaxing music
Take up a hobby or do something creative like painting or writing a poem
Unplug - Disconnect from the world, turn off your phone, tablet, laptop, etc and do something you find relaxing
6 - Systematic desensitisation
Anxiety may be caused by a thought of a particular situation or the actual situation itself. Systematic desensitisation works by firstly achieving a deep sense of relaxation, known as deep muscle relaxation. This is achieved through a series of relaxation exercises which you can find here. It should be noted that this is a strategy that should be implemented under the guidance of someone experienced and qualified. The theory of systematic desensitisation works on the basis that deep relaxation is incompatible with feelings of anxiety and fear.
Step 1: master deep relaxation exercises and practice getting yourself in a deep and relaxed state.
Step 2: List your fears in order or least fearful to the most fearful.
Step 3: While in a state of deep relaxation, imagine the scenario in the least fearful situation repeatedly until you no longer feel anxious. Once you have achieved this, you will be desensitised to that particular thought. Work your way up until you have reached the most fearful scenario.
7 - Cognitive-behavioral therapy
This treatment is carried out with a psychologist and usually in a clinical setting. It combines cognitive therapy - examining the things you think and behavioural therapy - examining the things you do. CBT is a type of talking therapy and it focuses on the present and the issues affecting you right now.
The theory behind CBT is that our thoughts affect the way we feel and behave. Negative thoughts will inevitably lead to negative feelings and this will be the likely cause of negative behaviours. CBT focuses on helping you to develop coping skills to deal with different problems. The therapist will focus on the negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that may be contributing to your problems. They will aim to help you to deal with your negative thinking and help you to change your behaviours, both will lead to an improvement in your mood. Speak with a doctor or a medical professional about how CBT may be able to help you.
More information about CBT can be found here.
8 - Practice mindfulness
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Practicing mindfulness is used to help an individual to become engaged with the present moment. Destructive thoughts and worries of the future are often the cause of anxiety and it's important to break the chain and to force your mind into the present. This strategy encourages an individual to be fully engaged with their environment – what you experience through your senses while practicing deep breathing. I have outlined more detailed steps regarding practicing mindfulness in my other blog which you can find here. Find more details here.
9 - Make a diary
Writing down what’s making you anxious gets it out of your head and can make it less daunting. and how this impacted your anxiety - look for patterns. Make a diary of the things you have achieved despite your anxiety, include photos and you can look back at your diary entries to remind you of what you are capable of and also to give you the confidence to try new experiences or even to face anxiety-inducing situations/fears. You can use the diary entries as evidence that you can overcome obstacles and they will give you a sense of achievement when you look back at the challenges you have overcome.
10 - Laughter is the best medicine!
Having a good hearty laugh can stimulate the release of the feel-good hormones (endorphins) which can also reduce stress. Also, when you laugh, the great big breaths which you take are oxygen-rich and stimulate the whole body – no wonder we feel great after laughing hysterically! Take time out for you to enjoy some comedy or even to have a good laugh with friends and family. Find more details here.
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Managing anxiety before you get in the car
When we think about driving anxiety, we perhaps only focus on the triggers or circumstances which trigger our anxiety while we are on the road. To be able to deal effectively with driving anxiety we need to be in the best frame of mind possible before we set foot in a car.
Stress and worry are a normal part of everyday life, especially in the current circumstances in which we find ourselves in. Worry, stress, and uncertainty are all factors that can exacerbate your anxiety, and this is before you have even started the car! So, let's get stuck in.
Plan for your journey
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If you are traveling to an unfamiliar destination you should double-check the address before setting off and save it to your sat nav. Choose a route that isn't too demanding and where possible, use routes that you are familiar with.
It's also a good idea to plan for regular stops so you can take a break, get some food, or pay a visit to the toilet. Whatever the reason is, a short break will do a world of good and you should feel more refreshed and ready for the rest of the journey.
Check for travel updates for the route that you will be taking. An incident, be it an accident or a broken-down vehicle can lead to traffic and delays. Perhaps taking some additional refreshments with you will help to keep you occupied and prevent you from feeling hungry during the journey.
Make sure you have a fully functioning in-car charger for your phone and your sat nav. You don't want to run out of battery mid-way through a journey and having the means to call for help should alleviate worries of any unplanned circumstances occurring.
Breakdown cover - you probably won't need it but it provides peace of mind before embarking on a long journey. It will be worth its weight in gold if you do find yourself stranded at the side of the road due to a breakdown.
Avoid driving during rush hour as you will have to contend with more vehicles, busier roads and potentially getting stuck in traffic.
Check the weather before setting off. If adverse weather conditions will make you feel uncomfortable it may be an idea to delay or even postpone your trip if necessary.
Mental preparation
The majority of your anxiety is based on unreasonable and unlikely events. You may have a fear of getting into an accident or perhaps you have claustrophobia and have a fear of getting stuck in traffic for hours and hours on end. Essentially you imagine the absolute worst-case scenario - not the most likely. The first step is to identify what is causing your driving anxiety, once you know what it is try to restructure your thinking. Rather than thinking about the worst-case scenario, think instead about the most likely scenario.
This mental preparation should help to make you feel less anxious about driving. The only step which remains is practice, practice, practice! Practice makes perfect and the more you drive the better you will feel when behind the wheel.
The 'One Move' Strategy
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Barry McDonagh from Dare has developed a strategy called 'One Move' and this is specifically designed to help with driving anxiety. The steps are outlined below:
Step 1:
Diffuse: When anxious thoughts arrive, give them a strong response - Say 'so what', 'whatever', in this way you aren't ignoring the thoughts but you are consciously removing their importance in the context of what you are doing.
Step2:
Acceptance: Don't try to fight the feelings, the more you do this the more severe the effects can become. Say 'I accept and allow these anxious thoughts, I accept and allow these anxious sensations.
step 3:
Demand more: If the anxiety is peaking - Demand more anxious sensations. Break the myth and prove to yourself that the anxiety does not have a hold over you, and how capable you are of driving despite anxious sensations.
step 4:
Bring it back: Bring yourself back into the present moment and engage with driving - pay attention to the road, listen and look attentively to the sights and sounds, feel the steering wheel under your fingers, become absorbed in the activity of driving.
If you feel too overwhelmed then it may be a good idea to pull over in a safe place and give yourself a moment. Once you have pulled over, think about how well you have done and what you have overcome.
Final thoughts
Overcoming anxiety is a slow process and will require considerable effort. Remember, the comfort zone is a lovely place, but nothing ever grows there! The feeling of discomfort is evidence that you are growing as a person - embrace the challenge!
I hope that this blog has been useful in managing anxiety. If you have any personal stories or suggestions, we would love to hear them in the comments section - don't forget to give us a thumbs up!
If you found this blog useful you m want to check out our other driving-related blogs:
I have also written a piece about some of the top tips mentioned in this blog but in much greater detail - 6 Top tips to overcome anxiety.
References: